Ready for kids say the darnest things?
My friend’s sister in law wanted to bring her kids for a pony ride. She was briefing her kids on the pony. YES, The PONY!
“You know that ponies are not pink. They actually come in brown, white, grey. They don’t have glitter. No sparkles. They don’t fly.”
Their reply, “WHY”
Then again, I should correct myself… kids don’t say the darnest things.
What are we teaching our kids!
Being other than being a musician, I do teach music and movement to preschoolers. One thing that we learn as a teacher, we use positive words and take the time to explain everything to them. That’s how they learn – being curious!
A lot of teachers do ask about positive reinforcement.
Simple instead of using DO NOT, just use DO! I am not asking you to agree to everything that the kids do. Imagine this, your kid loves to draw on the walls and all over the place. Parents / teachers / adults often say ,”Don’t draw on the walls.” Just take one minute and ponder on this point. Sure, I will not draw on the walls, but then where am I suppose to do my art?
Instead of “Don’t draw on the walls”, try “Do your drawings on paper”. It has clear instructions. It is a little shift of paradigm. From a DON’T world to a DO.
**One of my previous student had a NO problem. His answer is always NO even without thinking. Even if he liked the suggest, his first answer is alwaysImagine what kind of impact it does to him as a person? All the negativity? He was only 3 years old.
I recently read an article from psychological science – in that article, kids swear from the age of 2 and become adult-like by ages 11 or 12. Scary? But it is true. Kids are but the mirror of adults. They will become and talk like us – unless we first choose to be careful with the words we use.
“Parents often wonder if this behavior is normal and how they should respond to it. Our data show that swearing emerges by age two and becomes adult-like by ages 11 or 12. By the time children enter school, they have a working vocabulary of 30-40 offensive words. We have yet to determine what children know about the meanings of the words they use.” – http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/publications/observer/2012/may-june-12/the-science-of-swearing.html
Use your words wisely. Just before I go, a little story about a fence.Be Wise There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.
It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.
Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.
Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”
The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.
“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.
Be careful with YOUR words.
- Parents Who Scream And Swear At Teens Increase Child’s Risk Of Depression, Bad Behavior (medicaldaily.com)
- 7 secrets to raising a resilient child (pathwaystrust.wordpress.com)
- The Fence (positive-thoughts.typepad.com)