Two weeks ago, I met a friend at church. He was kind enough to give me a lift home. In the short 10 mins in the car, the conversation was a little unsettling. It went something like that
Him: Are u still doing music?
Me: Yeah of course.
Him: You should listen to different kinds of music.
Me: Sure. Why did you say that?
Him: Based on your looks, you should try listening to different kinds of music.
My looks. Yeah! 2nd person this year. Earlier the year, I had a guy in my course come out to me. Based on my looks, he could tell me that the type of instrument I play, music I listen to based. Amazing! Better than fortune telling or Patrick Jane from mentalist.
Nope. I am not writing an article about do not judge and etc. We have all been pigeon-holed. By gender, by age, by height, by weight, by body size, by religion, by race, by skin color, by ability to speak certain language (yeah! I speak mandarin. No I am not chinese citizen. No! Singapore is not a part of China.) For me, I am judge by my looks.
How to survive pigeon-holed? I take this loosely from leaders
1. Know yourself and what you stand for.
Martin Luther King knew what he wanted Civil Rights. He is clear about his purpose.
2. How to get there?
There are many ways to get the message out. In today’s context, riots, war, nuclear blackmail, emotional blackmail, cyber warfare, cyber bulling are just part of it. Martin Luther King chose non-violent route. He choose to empower.
3. Understanding people around
Isn’t their prejudices based on an experience of being prejudiced against? The saying goes “Hurting people HURTS people.” They are probably fighting against their own holes. Perhaps with a little compassion and understanding, we may see pass their words and onto their good intentions.
4. One Seed
Just one. Plant the seed of change with one person at a time. Share YOU one at a time. Share your values, what you stand for, SHARE YOU one person at a time.
5. Give Time
Mind set will not be changed over night. It will take time and effort. There will be rejections and disappointment. There will be time when you are more alone than ever. Give time to yourself and people around you.
This story you might have heard:- Mother Theresa approached one rich guy for donation. That rich guy hated these charity activities. At the peak of anger, the rich man spit on Mother Theresa’s face and started scolding her. The divine Mother, patiently cleared it and with unimaginable patience asked him, “Thanks for what ever you gave me, but what will you give to help my poor people”. The rich man got stunned by her response and gave her sufficient funds to help the needy people. – See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/story/view.php?op=sg&sid=1974#sthash.59skjopu.dpuf
May we break from the the pigeon holes, my fellow pigeons.