I have fetish with my white colored clothes being white. I really can’t stand stains or any impurities on my white top. Things have to be “perfect”. It has been a part of my life until I was asked to reflect on the values that I hold.
During a talk by a priest, he asked us to list down our value system. Things being planned and perfect is one of mine. After much and deeper reflection, I was reminded of an event that went wrong. From then on, there is a subtle fear of the unknown. I could plan for event, taking into account all sorts of season. In hindsight, I wonder how others could work with me.
Events and the value system of the people around form and mould our blueprint to how we react to situations.
Some of our attitudes in life, things being perfect, are obvious and others are subtle. Usually, the subtle ones that tend to sabotage our lives.
After reading the book, Peace from broken pieces, I could see the pattern that I live with.
I part of me “wanting affirmation from people around” and how “badly I beat myself up when I don’t get my work right”. In the end, I am never confident about my work. I always question my abilities.
I recognize myself. My blueprint. My fine details. Today, I choose to build myself up instead of tearing myself down. Challenge instead of sabotage my life
Look into that blueprint in yourself. Look at the fine details.